it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
