I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
