I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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