Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize