in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize