Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
