Your face is a jimmy john
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
