i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
