I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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