I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
