I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
