what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
