Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
