I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
