Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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