i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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