he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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