i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
