She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I see more hoeing in ur future
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