I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize