Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
