do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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