So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
