And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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