i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
