so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
