I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
