think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
