The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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