yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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