New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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