I look better un-naked...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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