Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
