so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
