I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
