onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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