This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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