im so drunk with asians
where?
always
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
