Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
