I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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