Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
