so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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