whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
