I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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