Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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