i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
