we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
