You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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