shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
