and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
