I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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