I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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