May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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