i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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