I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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