its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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