My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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