We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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