I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
