I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
