There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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