the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
