Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
