somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
