you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
