all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
