Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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