Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
