you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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