I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
