Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize