i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
