This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
