So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
