at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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